You knowthat girl in Mean Girls who just wants to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and Damian’s all, “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!” and she’s like, “No… I just have a lot of feelings!”
Well, I feel like that girl today. So many feelings and emotions, you guys. I feel happy because it’s a windy day and I just ate tropical bread french toast for second breakfast and it was DELISH. But I’m also sad because my uterus is straight up tripping and I just thought about all of the dogs who need good homes that I can’t adopt. And I feel angry because there are so many people out there who don’t give the thank you wave when driving. UGH. I LET YOU MERGE INTO MY LANE, YOU PLUM. AT LEAST WAVE YOUR HAND IN GRATITUDE.
Yeah. A lot of feelings. Many thoughts. Sometimes when my brain and hormones work against each other it can get a bit dangerous, you know?
I try to distract myself from all of these feelings by trying to answer some questions that pop into my head all the time. Examples include: Who do you think was the first person to see an oyster and think, “yeah, that looks delish. I’m going to slurp that bad boy down!”; Where do all of my bobby pins really go?; How can Alpal not like potatoes? I LOVE potatoes. I love potatoes more than I love most people!
Here’s another thought: do you think there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t like granola? The angry part of me is thinking that people who don’t give the thank you wave probably don’t like it. They probably also wait for their toast to cool down before they butter it so it doesn’t melt. THE BUTTER MELTING INTO THE TOAST IS THE BEST PART OF TOAST, UGH.
But then the happy, windy day part of me thinks that most people must love granola because there’s just too much to love about it and not all people are idiots! It’s crunchy and clustery and delicious… Maybe the people who don’t like it just haven’t tried it yet.
Yep. I’m gonna go with that. I can’t have any more anger inside of me because I just thought about people who drive really slow and don’t use their indicator… So I might burst soon.
Happy thoughts now: savoury granola. Even just the thought of making it is calming me down. It’s so simple and satisfying to make. The smell as it’s baking in the oven is so soothing! And my goodness, the saltiness; the crunch; the hint of chilli when you eat it by the handful… It’s enough to make you as happy as I get when extra virgin olive oil is on special!
Plus it’s super duper versatile. You can snack on it, put it in your salads, atop your soups…
So what are you waiting for, little buns? Get mixing and baking so you can get crunching and munching. (And so you can forget about your angry thoughts/the absolute melons who clap when a plane lands. WHY!?)
Also, don’t worry about me, pals. I’m not angry anymore because I’m feeling super chuffed that I just used the word “atop”. I’m pulling out all of the $5 words these days, you guys. I could probs rival Shakespeare at his peak. Now on to the recipe… Bone app the teeth!
Inspired by this recipe from BBC Good Food
Makes a small jar’s worth
– 100g rolled oats
– 40g pumpkin seeds
– 50g almonds or cashews (or a mix of both)
– 30g sesame seeds
– 40g coconut flakes
– scant 1 teaspoon fennel seeds
– 1-2 teaspoons chilli flakes, depending on how hot you like it!
– 1 tbsp honey/maple syrup
– 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
– 1 tbsp soy sauce (or tamari for gluten free boos)
– 1 egg white
1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees celcius/ 160 degrees fan forced. Line a baking tray with baking paper and set aside.
2. Combine all of the ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir well, making sure all of the oats, nuts and seeds are evenly coated.
3. Spread mixture flat on baking tray and pop in the oven for 15-20 minutes, lightly stirring the mixture half way through so it doesn’t burn.
4. Wait until the granola cools fully before storing in an airtight jar/container. Enjoy!