I pinky promise I’m still here, little buns!
Golly, it has been a while, hasn’t it? One minute you’re hanging decorations on your Christmas tree and then next thing you know, BOOM — it’s June and you’re all, “thank goodness it’s not 40 degrees anymore so the back of my knees and under my boobs can take a break from all that perspiratche.”
There’s been a lot happening in my little old life this year. I’ve been posting semi-regularly updates on Instagram but haven’t blogged since last year! So, without further ado…
Previously on: My Life
At the end of January this year, Alpal, Charlie and I took a huge leap and moved up to the Northern Beaches. It’s about an hour away from where we used to live (and where my mum and dad still live) so it took some time to adjust. Prior to us moving, I’d never been apart from my mum for longer than a few weeks, so moving an hour away from her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We talk on the phone every day and facetime, but it’s just not the same as being able to go into the living room and have a cuddle with her.
We’ve been living with Alex’s mum, dad and sister in their beautiful apartment while we look for our very own (first!) home. I absolutely adore Alex’s family and they’ve been nothing but supportive and loving, and boy am I going to bake them cookies galore when we find our own place to say thank you!
I’ve also been able to find not one, but two part-time jobs! Take that, anxiety and depression! How you like me now?! I’m a nanny for two families from Monday- Thursday for about 5-6 hours a day, which doesn’t sound like much but has been massive for me. This time last year I was only just starting to recover from my breakdown and I truly believed I would never be able to work again. I thought I would be weak, exhausted and anxious forever, and never be able to leave my house. I have to remind myself of that when I think I’m not doing enough, because I’m still super duper hard on myself and am always putting way too much emphasis on my worth as a person based on how much I financially contribute.
I am incredibly privileged that Alpal can support us and that I don’t have to force myself to work full time yet. The fact is, I’m not well enough to work a full time job. I might never be well enough… And it’s been really hard to come to terms with that. My mental illness has taken a lot from me and changed the course of my life more than once, and it truly is shattering to adjust to that reality. I know how blessed I am that I don’t have to work full time right now, but I also can’t help but think that being able to work full time is a privilege too. I know some people think I’m “lucky” that I “just” nanny a few hours a day, but I wish those same people knew just how truly lucky they are that they can work full time. Of course, everyone has struggles and things that they deal with… But I don’t think some people realise just how fortunate they are that they don’t deal with chronic conditions and are able to do what they want to do every day. That’s just a lil brain nugget I wanted to plop into this post!
Anywhoosles, I’ve been really quiet on the blog because of the move and my new jobs and the energy and time it’s taken to adjust to everything. It’s also tricky to write new posts and develop recipes when you don’t have your own kitchen, or time to spend in someone else’s kitchen. That’s what I’m most excited about when we find our own place… That I’ll have my very own kitchen to bake cookies and pour countless cups of tea in and counters to keep cookbooks open on. Well that, and Alpal, Charlie and I being able to start a new chapter together. To have our very first home, just the three of us, together. It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. And I can’t wait.
But for now, here are a few photos from the last few months to help fill you in on the rest of the juicy goss of my life. You are all welcome in advance!
And as Forest Gump once said, “That’s all I have to say about that.”
I hope you’ve been well, love bugs! I’ll be updating the blog more frequently now, don’t you worry… And soon there will be recipes galore! Love you!