I feel like every time I write a blog post, I’m apologising for it being so long since the previous one! So I’ll just get it out of the way now so we can get to the goods — I’m so sorry it’s been so long, my little loves!
If you follow me on instagram, you’ll know that since my last blog post, Alpal, Charlie & I have moved! At the end of June we moved into our first place — just the 3 of us — together. It’s been a huge year and finally being able to settle into our own space has been so lovely! Also, I’m a big time nester so I’ve been in my absolute element decorating and organising our place. I might do a separate blog post on it soon, but gosh, I’ve just been loving making our little apartment into a home. I can’t imagine the next-level nesting I’ll be doing when we decide to start a family. I’m equal parts excited and terrified just thinking about it!
I’ve also been quite unwell for the past few months. I shared a little bit about it on Instagram, but pretty much since the last time I posted on here, I started to get extremely nauseous and had terrible heartburn pretty much all the time. I was vomiting almost every day and got a lot of tests done to try and figure out what it was. Turns out it was good old fashioned ANXIETY. Cue eye roll here. So rude! My GAD has caused a lot of symptoms throughout the years, but nausea, heartburn and vomiting hadn’t made an appearance since I started high school, so I almost forgot that it could be a thing! Alas, it was a big time thing. It went on for months and it’s only just starting to get better now, thank goodness!
My care team helped me identify things that I could do to get better, but ultimately I had to make the decision to leave one of my nannying jobs. It was so gut-wrenching to have to stop working again because of my mental health and I had a really rough time with it. I still am, to be honest. It’s so much easier to comprehend not being able to work because of a physical illness, but knowing I had to leave to take care of myself and focus on my mental health seems so much more difficult to come to terms with. Plus, dealing with mental illness that also contributes to deteriorating physical health has been a lot.
But! I’m still here and I’m finally coming to terms with something my beautiful therapist has been telling me — that I need to think of taking care of myself and doing what I need to do to get better as my job. The currency? My health! Finally being well again! Well, my version of being well, at least. I think a lot of people who live with mental illness will agree with me when I say that we’ll always be unwell — we’ll never be totally rid of our anxiety, depression, BPD… But there will be times when we can cope better with it. And that’s what I’m trying to do now.
Anywhoosles, let me tell you the best thing about recovering from being unwell — that I’m finally getting my appetite back! When my nausea and heartburn was really bad, it would take me almost an hour to eat a meal. It still takes me a while, but it’s more of a mindful eating situation now, rather than “UGH WHY DOES IT TAKE ME THE LENGTH OF 4 BROOKLYN NINE-NINE EPISODES TO EAT A SANDWICH?!”
So now that I’m eating more regularly, and eating foods other than crackers and oreos (the only things I could seem to stomach!), I’m starting to get super excited about food and recipes again! The other week, I pulled out my big recipe folder and as I was flipping through the breakfast section, I found Kylie of ImmaEatThat’s recipe for Apple Crumble Breakfast Bars. Oooooh, boy. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw it. I made this recipe a lot last year and gosh, IT’S SO GOOD!
So I decided to make it again and share it here, on the off chance that you little buns aren’t aware of Kylie’s blog or have never made these delightful bars… You guys, you will LOVE.
I won’t write out the recipe because it’s not mine but I’ll link it here. What I will say is don’t stress too much if you don’t have wholemeal flour or almond butter. I used plain flour and almond butter is expensive! We happened to have some but if you don’t, I’m sure the bars would come out just fine if you used more butter. After all, there’s no such thing as too much butter!
I’ve been enjoying these bars for breaky straight from the fridge (Kylie prefers them cold and I must say, I do too!) with an iced latte or cup of tea. You could even have them with some scrambled eggs or crispy bacon if you wanted to up the protein which I have just decided I’m going to do tomorrow morning because as I was writing that I was like, “Yes honey. Yes.” I’ve been thinking about baked goods with crispy bacon ever since Alpal and I went out for breaky the other week and I had waffles and didn’t order them with a side of bacon like an IDIOT. But don’t worry, you guys. I’ve learnt from my mistake. Tomorrow, there will be bacon.